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The truth is many singletons find modern day dating hard . Unless you’re a millennial perhaps? I always forget that technically, at the marginally tender age of 33 i’m also a
Dating in the dark.

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The truth is many singletons find modern day dating hard . Unless you’re a millennial perhaps? I always forget that technically, at the marginally tender age of 33 i’m also a millennial. Not one of the filter obsessed, social media zombies who don Umbro tracksuits because they&#8217,re ‘ ironic. ’ More the chia seed chomping, yoga infatuated, astronomically priced but ‘sustainably sourced’ coffee addict who still, as if on cue, stops whatever she’s doing and throws up two guns fingers, perfectly poised to skank out, whenever the first millisecond of So Solid crew’s “21 seconds” is played. The latter completely betraying my diligently crafted work persona at the office Christmas party a few years ago in, twenty one seconds. Whichever equally questionable version of a millennial you are, it seems our generation whether we like it or not primarily connects virtually. This reliance is even greater now in the virtual world, which unlike the real world enables us to market ourselves at the click of a button. Beautifully curated profiles, crafted to match our imaginary ideals. Ideals birthed from the picture perfect story boards of our chosen cyber muses. Ideals that sadly, often don&#8217,t relate to the essence of our true selves. We are connecting but often not really truthfully engaging. It’s no surprise really. Our society is obsessed with the hyper consumption of films, music, magazines and digital media that perpetuate false ideals of beauty, success and happiness. Now if you’re black, modern dating feels even more challenging . But why is this? I’ve reflected on this a lot and spoken to other single black women who often empathise with my experiences. Recent research triggered a lot of discussion around desirability. Statistically black women are seen as the least desirable women according to data collated by OK Cupid’s CEO in 2014. This research also showed that when it came to black men, their preference was white and Latina women. Let that sink in for a moment. Now this is not an excuse to attack black men, or men of any other race, over their personal preferences. Nor is it a time to suggest that black men are responsible for rescuing every black damsel in distress from the perceived ‘plague of spinster doom.’ What this is, is an opportunity to reflect on the reasons why. As I write this, demonstrations are taking place all over the world in response to the murder of George Floyd . Uncomfortable conversations are being had about systemic racism and prejudice against the black community. Of equal importance are the conversations about unity within the black community. The need for us to “ create our own” businesses, networks and charities . The truth is our community cannot look to the very people who have been oppressing us for centuries for a solution. So…what is the solution? Unfortunately, I don’t have all the answers but like any complex issue in our society, truth and understanding comes through reflection and discussion. Ankhored aims to explore relationships in the black community which includes addressing these contentious issues. By challenging dogma we can rewrite the negative tropisms that only serve to divide us. Through truthful exploration I believe we can cultivate a stronger and more cohesive community that’s helps us all to stay Ankhored .













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